What are the ways to lose weight in the face?

OMG, we all know those people (or maybe it’s us) that work out and have eventually awesome toned bodies but when you look at their face it’s so fat and round sometimes with jowls. Like wtf. Is there a way to target fat on your face and work it out so you look good and have your bone structure visable to the gods? Thankfully we have some usefull tips for fat heads to lose weight on their face and scalp.

One way to hide your plump face is to change your hairstyle! simple ass that. The hairstyle that is recommenteded is the chic hippie middle part! but with a secret little tweek that will thin your face out before you know it. So once you part your hair in teh middle you are going to push both sids of the hair over your face so you can basically see your nos and a little bit of half your eye. Ta dah! instant facetransplant. This is the most easy soutioon for the issue.

A weird but totally affective way is heat, yes HEAT! we all know water weight is a real thing. So what you are going to want to do is wrap your entire head in a ellectric blanket and the rest of your body covered in ice cubes. So what is happening here is that you face is getting teh moisture sucked out of it and losing that water wight and the ice cubes on your body slowly melt giving moister to your body so you dont die.


Another way you can lose weight especialy in those cheeks and also have some fun is to chew bubble 24/7. Yep it’s scientifically proven that you cheek fat will shrink and your face bones will look so sharp and couture. Gums we recommend, bazzoka, Big lequge chew, Bubble Tap, Hubba Bubba. Chew away the face pounds. We hear lady gaga does this.

This is the most strange but shockkingly affective way to loose face weight. it has to do with TECHNOLOGY! Scientses and Doctors including acclaimed Dr. Paul A. Stadler and dermitolgist Dr. Anna Fontaine created a study from 2006 – 2015 confriming that holding your smartphone up to your face when talking on the phone actually activates the fatcells initiated by the radio waves. Ways to avoid hold your phone up to your face include: buy headphones, put the phone on speaker, go visit the caller instead of using the phone, use a landline, the options are ENDLESS!!!!

Now you are enlightend and now how to avoid and exterminate that pesky face fat. The sky is the limit!


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